


Dysfunctional Strings

by CrazyReader03



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Dissociation, Gen, He still loves Luke though, He’s not happy about that, Johnathan bashing on the concept of soulmates until he gets one, One Shot, Platonic Soulmates, Soulmate- Identifying strings, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25789450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyReader03/pseuds/CrazyReader03
Summary: When Johnathan was a child, he used to watch the vibrant strings with such childish awe. Listen to the stories people would tell him about soulmates. Was told that the person on the other side of the string was someone who would be your other half, someone who will bring out the best and worst of you. That they were someone who were meant to love you as much as you love them.As he got older, he learned it was all bullshit.
Relationships: Jonathan | H2ODelirious & Luke Patterson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Dysfunctional Strings

**Author's Note:**

> This particular story idea kept swirling in my brain, so I decided to right it out.

His whole life he looked at the bright red and blue strings tied around people’s pinkies. The strings were a connection to your soulmate. It was rare for people to have both but people nonetheless still at least had one tied around their finger.

Red meant romantic. 

Blue meant platonic. 

Everyone had a soulmate. Everyone had a string tied around their pinkie. However there were plenty of differences between the strings.

Some had their string cut off by their other half, it would drag across the floor as if to say that the person’s soul mate abandoned them. That their soulmate cut off the connection between them because they didn't want anything to do with them.

However those strings were sometimes tied together once more with a small knot, it showed that the two soulmates either made up or met nonetheless and accepted one another. The string’s knot would fade over time and the string would grow strong once more. 

Some strings were faded and lost their shine, it would be a dull red or a faint blue. These strings were confusing to most, it either meant that the person’s soulmate had died or the love for the soulmate was dead. 

People walked on eggshells around the folks who had faded strings. But once they discovered that two soulmates were in fact alive, just that their love was dead; they no longer walked on eggshells. No. 

They went out of their way to state their opinion on what the soulmates should do. Criticizes the pair, sneer at them as if saying “how could you not love your soulmate you freak.” They wouldn’t shut up on what the pair should do.

As if they had the right to tell two strangers how they should feel.

When Johnathan was a child, he used to watch the vibrant strings with such childish awe. Listen to the stories people would tell him about soulmates. Was told that the person on the other side of the string was someone who would be your other half, someone who will bring out the best and worst of you. That they were someone who were meant to love you as much as you love them.

As he got older, he learned it was all bullshit.

His parents were soulmates but they did not love each other like how Johnthan was led to believe with all the stories surrounding his youth. 

His parents met at a very young age; many people would say that that was a blessing. The fact that they could meet at such a young age meant that they weren’t like the unlucky ones who never met their other half in their lifetime. 

That they weren’t like the people who never meet their soulmates despite the fact that they have a vivid bright string connecting them.

Or that they weren’t like the people who lost their other half by the unforgiving embrace of death before they even got a chance to meet them. 

However, his parents won't admit it but to them meeting at such a young age wasn’t a blessing but in fact a curse. 

Since they met at the age of 10, they weren’t allowed to grow as their own person. They weren’t allowed to explore other relationships, to be able to make mistakes and to be able to build an image of themselves before stepping into a relationship. 

As much as the red string can be a guide for many, for his parents, that felt that it was a shackle. 

They were expected to date each other, they were expected to have a family with each other, they were expected to be happy with just being together. It was frowned upon if they didn't stick together. Those expectations and the pressure of being there day in and day out with your soulmate was put on their shoulders when they were not ready. 

They were stuck together without any other means of independence. They never learned how to be their own person, their lives revolved around the fact that they needed to keep up the image of being the perfect soulmates. They wasted all their efforts into keeping up this mask that was expected of them. 

And because of that.

Because of that, the possibility of them being the person who understands you the best, your supposedly better half; became the person who tolerated you and in some cases, resented you. 

Jonathan’s parents had no romantic or platonic love for each other. Just bitter acceptance and resignation. And also frustration, frustration because they both wonder how it could have been if they weren’t forced to stick together or if they meet later in their life. 

His parent’s red string looked less bright and a lot more faded compared to how it was when they were children. However that wasn’t a surprise for them when they noticed the string but they didn't care and didn’t acknowledge it. They wasted so many years ignoring the issue, what was a few more years going to do? They don't care anymore. 

All these ignored issues, all these double standards, all these expectations. It was too much for Johnthan and the young adult still couldn’t decide if him having no string was either a blessing or a curse.

Because looking at the gritty details hidden behind grand exclamations of pure love and looking at his parents… he felt that he didn't want that burden. But it also didn't help smother the fact that deep down he felt unlovable because he had no string. Not a hint of blue or hint of red on either of his pinkies. No matter how long it’s been.

When he was 6 - the age where the string usually manifested- his mother noticed that his string didn’t develop; she bursted into tears. Claiming that it was her fault, that he didn't get a string because of how she felt about her own red string.

She kept repeating to him that she was sorry as she clutched him to her chest. 

His father had rushed into his room to see why his wife was wailing so loudly but once he registered what his mother was saying, he simply sighed and gently ushered his mother out of the room. Claiming that her hysterics were scaring their child and that she should come back later once she controlled herself.

His father had embraced him and held him in arms once his mother had excused herself. His father had rubbed his back and calmly hummed a tune when he noticed how Johnatahn was shell shocked and shivering. Confused why his mother was being hysterical and not understanding why him not having a string caused such a situation.

Johnathan had asked if he was broken but his father shook his head no and said “Your string does not tell you who you are. You’ll be a great person, with or without a string.”

Johnathan had clung to his father’s words as he grew up, his mother tried to be supportive but Johnthan couldn’t look at her since all he saw in her eyes was guilt and pity. His father was his only anchor, his father gave him advice and wisdom when the other kids hurt him with their careless words. 

He didn't know how to feel with his stringless situation, he compares his situation with his parents. His parents may love him but his parents don’t love each other. They instead focused on this mask, this mask of a perfect family to the outside world.

Because of this, he learned how to read people at a young age. To see his mother's fake smile, to notice how exhausted his father seemed when he spoke to his mother and to see how desperate his mother tried to cling to anything that justified her connection to his father and how she constantly reminded them on how their family should be seen. 

He didn't know how he should feel, if a string can ruin two people who tried their hardest to find happiness in their situation; then he doesn't want one. But the fact that he doesn't have one at all, no faded string, no cut string, nothing, haunts him when he lets his emotions get the best of him.

From a young age he decided not to focus on the fact that he doesn't have a string but children can be very cruel and he spent most of his school life being mocked and teased that he didn't have a string, and being pitied by the adults for never having the opportunity. 

He decided to be better than them, they could not mock him if he had higher grades than them, they could not sneer and hit him if he hit harder, they could not make him cry if he laughed at them and portrayed a mask that showed that he gave no fucks to what they think. 

So like his mother, he put on this mask, a mask to help hide the pain. His pain of not knowing why he didn't have a string, the pain of having people's words hit him hard. 

This simply resulted in him hating the world and their strings. If these strings didn't exist, then he didn't have to go through any of this, he wouldn’t have needed to defend himself, he wouldn’t have needed to question his own worth. 

However no matter how much he scorns the strings, no matter how much he tries to ignore the strings. His eyes always followed the strings attached to people and can’t help but wonder if they were a blessing or a curse. And if he had one, how would he feel about it.

He’s always watching them, wondering about them. 

When he was a child, many have told him he didn't have a string because he was a late bloomer, or that his soulmate died before they were born hence why no string was formed, many bullies have told him he was just unlovable and soulless. 

He didnt know which reason was worse. 

His father tried his best to help Johnthan know his self-worth, accept himself and love himself, to not let others drag him down to their level. His mother also tried, she still had that guilty look in her eyes but that didn't change the fact that she held him when he cried, encouraged him and his goals, scold the others when their rough play borderlined abusive behavior, yelled at others who would treat her son as something not worth their time simply because he had no string. 

Thanks to their effort and his own, Johnthan didn't let himself become an outcast. And children eventually got bored of poking the dead horse and accepted the fact that he didn't have a string and simply let him play with them or didn't bother him. Sure there was the occasional bully but as his age group got older, they simply got used to the fact he’s stringless. 

But that doesn't mean he’s best friends with any of them, they were there to shoo away the heart aching loneliness that seemed to try to consume Jonathan when he let his emotions get the best of him.

That’s why, when he met Luke it was like a breath of fresh air. 

Luke didn’t judge and didnt tiptoe around the subject of him being stringless. He was blunt and he was honest. While Luke himself had a red string attached to his left hand, he didn't really care too much about it and didn’t believe in the overexaggerated proclamations of finally connecting with his soulmate.

When asked about his string Luke simply shrugged and said “If I met them, I met them but I’m not gonna go out of the way and obsess over the dam thing.”

Being with Luke is like having a brother but better. Luke was that anchor that Johnathan didn't realize he needed. 

Luke would easily drag Johnthan out of the disassociation that he would slip into sometimes, Luke easily understood why Johnathan was weary of the strings. Luke just simply understood that his friend was a bit broken by the trauma of having to deal with a society who treats you differently because you never manifested your string. 

Luke never treated him as something to be handled with kid gloves.

Luke was just his best friend and Jonathan wouldn’t trade him for anything, not even if the world twisted reality and offered him a chance to develop a string in exchange for Luke’s friendship. 

The thought of strings never bothered him when he was with Luke.

So it’s just his luck that when he finally found stable ground and started to fully accept his stringless situation, that his stability would be shattered thanks to a drunk driver.

—————

Being in the waiting room just outside the ICU was a type of agony that Johnathan never thought he'd experience. 

He had woken up very quickly after the initial crash, his vision had been blurry and something warm and wet had been dripping down his face. 

When his vision finally came to, Johnathan finally registered the fact that he was hanging upside by his seatbelt and that everything was crumbled and pieces of glasses were scattered everywhere. 

It had taken him awhile to release his seatbelt and then a few more moments to regain his equilibrium once he landed harshly on the car roof. 

Everything had hurt and everything felt unreal as Jonathan looked around and briefly caught sight of Luke hanging upside down as well before the voices of people dragged his attention away and then hands were reaching for him to pull him out of the car wreck.

He didn't know how long it took but he knew that he blacked out again when they laid him down on the sidewalk away from the car wreck that was emitting smoke.

When he awoke again he was in an ambulance being told he had a concussion, his temple had a few fractures by banging against the window during the crash and that Luke was being taken to the ICU for emergency surgery. When Johnthan had asked for more details about the car crash, he was told that a lucky bystander had an emergency fire extinguisher in their car and stopped the car fire before it went up in flames.

If it wasn’t for that bystander then him and Luke would have been burnt alive. 

It was a lot of information to process though his throbbing head but he managed and now he was sitting in this uncomfortable hospital chair tapping his foot and trying not to let a panic attack engulf him. He had his head in his hands and his gaze kept going back and forth from on point to another, trying to distract himself with anything. 

Luke was in the ICU and Johnthan couldn’t do anything. 

He couldn’t lose him. It would break him and he was positive that his poor father wouldn’t be able to pick up the pieces. 

Oh god, speaking of his father, he should probably call his dad on what happened and why they haven’t called him to confirm their safe arrival after they left him from their biweekly visits.

Actually, where the hell was his phone?

Jonathan groaned as he curled up into a ball. He didn't want to worry about where most of his possessions where, worst case scenario, someone stole it from the car crash. Best case, the police picked up their possessions when they investigated the wreck.

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration only to freeze at the sight of a baby blue string dangling directly in front of his face. 

He stared at it in complete disbelief as everything muted around him. He hesitantly twined the blue string around his fingers and stared at the bright string in disbelief. His eyes followed the string to the floor where it pooled and then followed it’s journey to see it phase through the door that led into the ICU.

Why the fuck did he have a blue string?

Jonathan couldn’t register how he felt through his shock, he honestly feels that he’s floating somewhere on the ceiling while his body continues sitting in the chair. The only thing he felt through the haze was his heart pounding in his chest but even then it didn't feel like his heart but instead it pulsed around him instead of inside him. 

The world passed by in a blur for Johnathan, everything was moving around him but he didn't register a thing. He didn't register that he was squeezing his hand, didn’t register the throb of pain coming from his temple, didn’t register the sting of the cuts that were scattered across the side of his face and arms. 

It could have been hours, it could have been minutes. He didn't register anything at all, all he did was stare at the blue string tied to his pinky finger.

A light touch on his shoulder startled him and made him look up at the person he didn't even realize stood in front of him. It was a nurse, who had apparently been calling for his name for awhile before she realized that he was in his own world.

The nurse must have noticed how horrible Jonathan looked because she smiled with a concern. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

It took a few moments for Johnthan to settle inside his body again and not feel like he’s floating before he coughed slightly into his fist and looked off to the side in embarrassment and slight humiliation of having someone see him disassociate. 

“No, no I’m fine.” He mumbled and tried to hide himself in his hoodie.

The nurse looked like she was about to say something but dropped the topic, she instead smiled again and said “Your soulmate has pulled through, he’s doing just fine. If you would please follow me I shall show you to his room.”

Johnathan opened his mouth to deny the fact that Luke was his soulmate but a quick glance at the string tied to his pinkie, and seeing that it now led deeper into the hospital instead of the ICU made him shut his mouth with a soft click.

He instead stood up and nodded his head in understanding. He knew he might look like a bit of a spazz by fidgeting so much but his world view is slowly breaking apart here so he can give himself some leeway to what he’s feeling.

When they reached the designated room Luke was currently staying in, Jonathan stood in front of the door staring at the string phasing through the door. The nurse calmly stood next to him to give him a few moments to gather himself before she opened the door and motioned him further into the room.

Luke didn't get a private room (because really, neither of them are rich) but instead a room where he shared with another. Both patients had privacy since both curtains were closed but Johnathan knew which bed held Luke; all he had to do was follow the string. 

Johnathan stumbled forward since his legs started to feel like lead and the young male desperately tried to fight off the feeling of floating off into space. The nurse left him to give him and Luke some privacy and as Johnthan sat on the squeaky hospital chair next to Luke’s bed, he couldn’t help but gaze at his friend's face.

Luke was pale, his head was wrapped in bandages, there were multiple little cuts scattered across his face and his majestic beard was now patchy and shaved off since apparently there were a lot more cuts on his chins and cheeks from the glass.

Overall, Luke looked like shit and Johnathan tried to ignore the fact that bandages were peaking out of Luke hospital gown, he doesn't know the exact damage Luke has but if it required the ICU then it must have been something serious.

Johnathan then shifted his attention to Luke’s hands, the familiar red string on his left hand was still there but the new blue string on his right hand is what’s causing all this emotional turmoil and constant dissociation that's been gripping him this past hour... hours?

If Luke had his red string, then where the fuck did this blue string come from? No one develops a fucking string at the age of 25! 

This was too much, this whole situation is too much. 

Johnathan happily embraced the numbness tickling his senses and just sat there as the hours blurred by.

It was too much for him.

———

Between one blink and another, suddenly visitor hours were over and the kind nurse from before was trying to explain to Johnathan that since he was Luke’s soulmate, he was allowed to stay overnight with him instead of leaving like he should if he was a family member or friend.

But the young adult simply shook his head no, his head was a mess. His emotions were in constant turmoil and honestly speaking Johnathan was just done for the day.

He loves Luke, he swears he does.

It’s just that, everything that he knows and believes in is falling apart right in front of his eyes and he needs to break down in the safety of his own home before he does it here.

So in a haze Johnathan left the hospital and hopped on the metro train. He sat there in the seats with his hood pulled up trying to calm the panic simmering underneath his skin. He was shaking as he stared at the blue string on his pinky.

He knew what the blue string meant, he knew that this string now officially told the world that him and Luke were platonic soulmates but what was really throwing him off was the fact that the string appeared 20 years too late and it left him floundering as to why it appeared now instead of earlier considering the fact that he knew Luke since high school. 

Was it because Luke almost died? Was it because he himself got hit in the head? Did that change something? Did something reset in the complicated mess of whatever physics the strings followed?

Either way it didn’t change the fact that Johnthan had been with his soulmate all this time and he didn’t even know about it. All his complaints about strings when he ranted to Luke, could now be shot down by other people once they see his blue string tied to his pinky.

His thoughts on how dangerous it was to just relay on your strings when it concerns you’re wellbeing, how stupid it was that people can dismiss red flags in couples just becuase they’re connected to a stupid string, that science still cant explain.

His thoughts on how stupid it was for people to let someone in an abusive relationship get away with thier actions becuase a stupid red string connecting the victim to the abuser can convince people that it was just a lovers spat instead of something serious.

His thoughts on how stupid it was for people to turn a blind eye to the fact that they didn’t love thier soulmate anymore but still stick together becuase thier heads have been filled with these storied that paint the perfect picture of the perfect soulmates, but those stories don’t take in consideration of someone’s upbringing or personal ideals.

All those thoughts could now be shot down.

He thought his connection to Luke was like a big fuck you to the strings becuase he found someone who cared about him just as much as he cares about them without letting a stupid string determine that for him but now… their history before the string meant nothing since in the end they’re still soulmates?

The blue string connecting him and Luke has been there all this time and they just couldn’t see it? Or did the string develop when they grew closer and only appeared once Luke almost died? Or has Luke been able to see the string all this time and it’s just been Johnathan who couldn’t see it and the hit to his head made him see his string that he wasn’t able to before? 

But how did that explain everyone else's lack of ability of seeing the string if that was the case? Did both parties need to acknowledge the string so it can be visible to other people? 

Fuck.

Fuck this was all confusing.

Jonathan scratched at his face to feel the brief sting of pain to stop himself from spiraling into a panic attack and the sharp sting helped him focus his senses.

It will do him no good to panic in a public train and probably end up mugged in his moment of weakness- though the only thing in his pockets were his house keys and five bucks- he just needed a few more stops until he gets to his apartment; then he can panic all he wants.

Just not now, he can't let himself panic now.

——-

His hands kept shaking as he tried to enter his keys to open his apartment door. He didn't even know how he managed to climb 3 stories of stairs without falling down and breaking his neck but he wasn’t going to question it too much.

His brain had registered that he was about to enter his safe space so his shaking got worse and his vision began to blur with unshed tears of frustration.

When he finally opened his door and stumbled inside he let out a girly shriek as something touched his legs in the dark. His heart went up to his throat and his brain went into haywire trying to see what kind of demon just touched him. However the barking coming from his shiba inu finally registered in his panic. 

“Paprika.” Johnathan said with immense relief as he closed and locked it, he then slouched down the wall into a heap on the floor.

Paprika immediately attacked him with yips and kisses and the young adult laughed before scrunching his eyes to fight back the tears.

“Don't scare Papa like that sweetie.” He mumbled as he scratched her ears and cuddled her to his chest. The adrenaline in his system slowly left his body and exhaustion began to creep up on him.

Today’s been an exhausting day. 

With a shaky breath, Johnathan set down Paprika and got up from the floor. He finally registered that his head was throbbing, the cuts scattered across his body stung and in general he just felt like shit. 

Paprika followed her human down the hall as he stumbled his way towards his bedroom and when he didn't close the door she happily hopped her way inside and jumped on the bed.

Johnathan was face down in the mattress not even managing to change into any loungewear. He’s just flopped onto his bed and buried himself in his blankets and pillows. His clothes were dirty, hoodie ripped and he’s pretty sure he has blood stains on his white t-shirt. 

But he’ll deal with that later. Once he doesn’t feel like shit.

Paprika, bless her soul, didn't know why her human was sad but she was trained as a therapy dog nonetheless and made her presence known by sniffing and nuzzling Johnathan.

The young adult huffed out a small laugh before turning on his side and embracing his baby. -she’s his baby, people can fight him on that- and scratched her ear.

“Papa’s tired sweetie.”

Paprika simply licked his face and Johnthan winced as his cuts stung with the gesture of affection. 

“What am I going to do Paprika? Luke is in the hospital, he’s my soulmate apparently and I just… don’t know what to do.” 

Paprika simply wiggled around before settling herself beside Johnathan, the young male simply hummed as he continued to rub her back.

Everything is just a mess. 

With that thought, Jonathan slipped into a restless slumber. The vibrant blue string tied to his pinkie was a stark contrast to the black bed sheets. 

———

And unknown to him, a hazy image of a red string attached to his right pinkie kept flickering into existence before disappearing again.

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally gonna end this with Johnny meeting Evan during the train ride and his red string manifesting right then and there, but I like this version better.


End file.
